Castaways
by velja
Summary: Five years after Graduation Chad and Ryan are locked in a supermarket over night and finally have time to discuss their friendship. CHYAN M/M RELATIONSHIP


**Castaways**

By velja

A dialogue-only Chyan story in ten scenes (so it's really more like a play). It's based on the TV Series Dawson's Creek, Episode CASTAWAYS (written by Gina Fattore and directed by Greg Prange).

**Setting:** This story takes place five years after Graduation (and HSM3).

**Summary: Chad and Ryan are locked in a "K-Mart" over night and finally have time to discuss their friendship. Or may it even progresses into something more?**

**Disclaimer:** Chad, Ryan and all things related to HSM belong to Disney and Kenni Ortega and I'm just borrowing them for fun. "DAWSON'S CREEK" and other related entities are owned by Procter & Gamble Productions (PGP) and Outbank Entertainment in association with Columbia TriStar/Sony Pictures Television. I'm not making any money of this, it's only used for entertainment purposes.

**Author's note: **I didn't entirely write this. I took a wonderful script and changed a few things to make it fit Chad and Ryan.

* * *

**SCENE ONE**

[A Fancy Dinner Party. Chad and Ryan are attending a sports gala. Chad is talking to the good-looking girl next to him, while Ryan is sitting next to Chad very bored. He begins to play with his hat that's in his lap and it suddenly rolls away and under the table. He's trying to reach it with his feet and pull it to him but eventually gives up and crawls under the table to grab it. When he reaches it, he turns to crawl out and sees that the lady has her hand on Chad's inner thigh, and is surprised and hits his head on the bottom of the table.]

Ryan: Ohh.

[Chad sees Ryan climbing out from under the table and he leans to the woman next to him.]

Chad: Would you excuse me for one second?

Woman: Of course.

[Chad crouches down next to Ryan who's still on the ground]

Chad: Dude, I don't mean to pry, but... would you mind telling me just what the hell it is you're doing down there?

Ryan: It depends. Would you mind telling me what that girl's hand is doing knee-deep on your lap?

Chad: Excuse me?

Ryan: You heard me. Or perhaps you'd like me to involve the entire table, 'cause I'm sure her date would at least be marginally interested.

Chad: Ok, great. You've made your point. Which is what, exactly?

Ryan: Chad... I want to go home. Now. I'm tired, I'm cranky, and I know you didn't read the fine print in our little rent-a-day contract, but it expires in exactly 35 minutes, so maybe you could just skip the subtleties and get her phone number?

Chad: Ok, dude, down. Did I not mention to you what a wonderful networking opportunity this was for me?

Ryan: Yes. That's how you suckered me into coming in the first place, but you know what? You've networked, you've schmoozed, and unless you take me home now, as in right now, I think little miss thing over there isn't going to be so interested when she sees gay-me lean over the table and give you the tongue kissing of your life.

Chad: 5 minutes. We'll leave in 5 minutes.

Ryan: Thank you.

Chad: Great.

[He turns back to the lady he was talking to. Ryan is still under the table looking for his hat.]

Chad: Well, everything seems to be fine down there. [Chuckles] Friends. You know?

Woman: Yeah, well, look. I don't want beat around the bush. You seem like a nice guy.

Chad: So then you wouldn't mind if I called you?

Woman: Sure. You could call me, I could call you, or I could ditch my date, and you could ditch your...friend.

Chad: [Chuckles]

Woman: And we could meet back here in an hour and go to my place. Look, if you don't want to do this, I mean, if you're more than friends with him...

Chad: Him?

Woman: The one that's under the table—

Chad: Oh, him. Oh...no. No, no, no. I am most definitely nothing but friends with him.

Woman: So...it's a date?

Chad: Yes. I'll see you back here in an hour.

Woman: [Giggles]

[She leaves and Ryan comes crawling out from under the table again.]

Ryan: Finally. I got my hat. It was all the way across the table.

Chad: Was it really? Great. Then problem solved, whatever the problem was. We should probably be going. Ok?

Ryan: Wait, Chad. Let me finish my drink.

Chad: Come on, dude.

[He pulls Ryan by his arm to stand up and leave.]

Ryan: [Sighs] You have a hot date or something?

Chad: No, but a beautiful woman did just offer to have sex with me, no strings attached.

Ryan: You're so cute when you're delusional.

* * *

**SCENE TWO**

[Inside Chad's Car. Ryan and Chad have left the party and are driving home. Ryan is shifting rather weirdly in his seat.]

Ryan: Chad...I just have one question.

Chad: Shoot.

Ryan: What the hell is happening to my butt right now?

Chad: That'll be the seat warmer, which comes standard on all your finer German automobiles. I thought you of all people would know that, Evans, seeing as your family owns several of these.

Ryan: Huh, sure. I just never thought I'd see the day that you'd own one as well. My lower half thanks you for moving so far up the social ladder.

[They drive past an exit on the highway]

Ryan: Chad, wasn't that turn we just sped past the way out of these godforsaken suburbs?

Chad: Yes, it was, but you and I are gonna be makin' a little pit stop.

Ryan: Pit stop? Oh, no. Perhaps I didn't impress upon you the importance of me being home, in bed, and out of these ridiculous clothes as soon as possible. I have an entire script to read before rehearsals tomorrow.

Chad: Ok, simmer down. This is gonna delay you, like, 2 minutes.

Ryan: What do you need, anyway?

Chad: Need?

Ryan: Yeah. The reason for the pit stop? The thing you can't live without until tomorrow morning?

Chad: Uh, laundry detergent.

Ryan: Laundry detergent?

Chad: Yes. Laundry detergent.

Ryan: Chad, in the entire time I've known you, I don't think you've ever once done laundry.

Chad: Like you're one to talk, Evans. I don't think you even know where in your parents' palace the laundry is, do you?

[They pull into the parking lot of a K-Mart. They get out of the car, and Chad begins to walk towards the K-Mart, while Ryan is quickly catching up to him.]

Chad: Uh, you don't have to come with me. You can wait in the car.

Ryan: You're seriously expecting me to wait out here while you're traipsing around the world's largest superstore?

Chad: Right.

Ryan: Wrong! It's cold, it's scary, and if you must know, I have to use the bathroom.

Chad: How could you possibly have to go to the bathroom? 2 minutes ago, you didn't even want to stop.

Ryan: Do you want to argue about this, or shall we continue the 10-mile trek to the front of the store?

[They eventually make their way up to the front door]

Ryan: Why did we have to park so far away, anyway?

Chad: I just spent 2 1/2 months' salary on gettin' that car. You think I want to leave it in the hands of those fine, upstanding citizens?

[He points to the two guys collecting carts and running through the parking lot with them. He stops at the automatic door, but it doesn't open.]

Chad: Nooo.

Ryan: Great. It's closed.

Chad: It can't be closed. There are still people inside.

[One of the doors next to it opens, and a security guard it letting some customers out.]

Guard: Good night, now, folks. Drive safe.

[The guard watches the customers leave and then notices the guys with the carts over by his car]

Guard: Hey! What the hell are you lamebrains doin' out there?! The Monte Carlo! Watch the Monte Carlo!

[He runs out and Chad fakes a yawn and then catches the door before it can close.]

Chad: [Yawns]

[The quickly make their way inside]

Ryan: Oh. I'm gonna go—

Chad: I know where you're goin'.

[Inside K-Mart. They make their way into the store, and Ryan notices a sign to the bathrooms, while Chad begins to head off in another direction. Chad goes over to the Condom section of the store, and begins looking at the selection when an employee comes up to him.]

Chad: [Sighs]

Employee: Um...we're gonna be closing soon?

Chad: Ok.

[Chad grabs a three pack of Trojans.]

Chad: [Chuckles uncomfortably]

Employee: Very nice.

* * *

**SCENE THREE**

[The front of the store, by the registers. Chad comes walking up to the registers to pay for the condoms, when Ryan comes running up to him. He quickly puts the condoms into his pocket before Ryan can see them.]

Ryan: There you are. Come on. Let's—

Chad: Uh--I--could you just hold on for one second?

Ryan: No. I need you.

Chad: Need me...for what? You can't go to the toilet by yourself?

Ryan: Yes. That's exactly it.

Chad: What? Ok. C-can you just wait—

Ryan: No. I can't. And why weren't you at the laundry?

Chad: Ok. Let's go.

Ryan: Thank you.

Chad: You're welcome. You just have to ask the right way. You know?

Ryan: You're so bossy.

[Outside the bathroom. Chad is sitting outside the women's bathroom. Ryan comes out and Chad pushes himself off the wall he is leaning on.]

Chad: Is your sense of adventure really so lacking you could not have used this washroom unattended?

Ryan: Chad, the outer door doesn't lock. Somebody—a woman-- could've walked in at any point.

Chad: So?

Ryan: So... defending myself against angry women with the strong urge to kill me for using their washroom isn't really a life experience I need to have, thank you.

Chad: Who is going to walk in? There's nobody here. And the whole store's gonna close in 5 minutes anyhow.

[The lights begins turning off.]

[Ryan and Chad stare at each other in shock and then they run. They arrive at the front doors that are locked. They can see the guard and other employees getting into their cars outside.]

Ryan: Oh, my god. They're still here. Yell. Yell. Yell.

Chad: Hey!

Ryan: Hey! Mister! Mister!

Chad: Hey! Hey!

Ryan: Hello! Help!

[The guard gets in his car without seeing them]

Ryan: This isn't happening. Tell me this isn't happening.

Chad: It's ok. He's gonna see the car.

Ryan: Chad, we're parked in, like, another zip code.

Chad: All right, if we want to start pointing fingers, we should probably point them at the bladder that got us into this situation.

Ryan: He's leaving.

Chad: I can see that, thanks.

Ryan: Look. He's getting in his car, and he's leaving us here trapped.

[The guard pulls away from the store]

Ryan: [Sighs] Ok. Let's not panic.

Chad: Who's panicking?

Ryan: I'm panicking, Chad. This isn't exactly where I want to be right now. I have an en—

Chad: "An entire script to read." I know. When don't you have an entire script to read? Or choreographies to come up with? And just so you know, this is not exactly my ideal situation, either.

Ryan: Well, look, let's not snipe at each other anymore.

[Chad tries to bash the door open, without success.]

Ryan: Ok. You know what? We need to think logically.

Chad: Right. Well... this one's locked.

[They go back into the store.]

* * *

**SCENE FOUR**

[The registers. Ryan is at one of the registers, and hangs up the phone that is there. Chad comes walking up to join him from the back of the store.]

Chad: Hey. Hey, any luck?

Ryan: They're not real phones.

Chad: What do you mean, they're not real phones?

Ryan: [Echoing over P.A.] Clean up on aisle 4. Clean up on aisle 4. [Sighs] They're just intercoms. We can call house wares, but we can't communicate with the outside world. Please tell me you found some kind of a back door or something.

Chad: No. Not one that we can open, but I was thinkin', there's always your ever-present cell phone.

Ryan: In my coat.

Chad: Great.

Ryan: In the car.

Chad: Hmm.

Both: Pay phones!

Ryan: I think they're—

Chad: Yeah.

[They both start running off in the same direction.]

[The Employee break room. Ryan is on the pay phone trying to talk to the police station. Chad is sitting on a table near to the phone waiting.]

Ryan: No, officer. Not...stuck, like, in the snow, stuck, as in locked in. [Sighs] No. Nobody's life is in danger. But please don't put me back on hold--

Chad: [Sighs] Ok, fine. That's it. Just hang up. We'll call 911.

Ryan: We can't call 911.

Chad: Why not? We're stuck, aren't we?

Ryan: Chad, we're stuck in a giant barn like structure with massive quantities of food, clothing, and all the latest in home video equipment. How does that qualify as an emergency? I mean, are we in some sort of a danger I'm unaware of?

Chad: Yes. We're in danger of getting you home late, and we can't have that, now, can we?

Ryan: Since when do you care?

Chad: About what?

Ryan: Getting me home on time?

Chad: Since...forever. I don't want you to be lax in your blooming career. There's important dances to be choreographed, scripts to be read. What script is it you're reading?

Ryan: Rent.

Chad: Rent? You're paying $35,000 to get into a Musical Production of something you know inside-out, forwards and backwards in your sleep? Ryan, you've seen it about twenty times! Hell, you made me see it at least five times!

Ryan: Shut up. Something's happening. It's ringing.

Chad: Ok. Good. I'll have you home in no time.

Ryan: Well, we'll rot here. It transferred me to some sort of automated response system. "Press one to file a complain about noise. Press 2 for traffic violations." Here. You listen.

[He hands Chad the phone and begins to realize he is cold]

Ryan: Can I have your coat? I'm freezing. It's freezing in here.

Chad: My coat? What's wrong with your coat?

Ryan: Nothing's wrong with it, it's fine. Thank you. Except for the small detail that it's not here, doofus! I left it in your car, remember?

Chad: Ok, fine. Hold this for a second.

[He puts his coat onto him while he continues listening to the phone and then takes the phone back]

Chad: Better?

Ryan: Thank you. I think you should press zero, see if we can get a real person back on the line. You don't have any gloves, do you?

Chad: No, I didn't br--hello! Yes. Look, we're stuck in a gigantic Kmart. Yes, as a matter of fact, you did talk to us earlier. Uh, hello? No, please don't put me back on...hold. God!

[Ryan reaches into his pocket looking for gloves and finds the condoms. He taps him on the shoulder while he is waiting on hold again.]

Chad: What?

Ryan: Are these yours?

Chad: Those?

Ryan: Yeah. These...prophylactics I found in your pocket.

Chad: [Coughs] Oh. Those. Uh, yeah. Actually, they are. But, look, we should probably concentrate on the matter at hand here.

Ryan: This is why we stopped? Chad, we're stuck in here because you had some pressing need for birth control?

Chad: Yes. Ok? Because that's the kind of responsible guy I am. But seeing as it doesn't look like we're gonna get outta here anytime too soon, it's kind of a moot point, so if— [He hears something on the phone] Uh, hello? Hello. Hello. Yes. Hello. Ok. No. No, that's fine. If you could just please make sure that they do actually call us back. The number is 617-555-0189. Thanks for—

[He hangs up the phone when he realizes the other person hung up]

Chad: Ok. Well, at least now we're makin' progress.

[Ryan is just staring at him]

Chad: What? What's the look for?

Ryan: It's that girl from the party, right? You were on a date with me, and you picked up some girl with questionable fashion sense, and then you were gonna go back to her place—

Chad: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. You and I were not on a date. Which is only the first of many things wrong with that sentence.

Ryan: Chad, my entire night is ruined.

Chad: Well, my night's not exactly going to plan, either.

Ryan: Ruined! For the sake of some booty call?

Chad: Ok, let's...just... take a little time out, because you and I... we're not actually having this conversation.

Ryan: Oh, why? 'Cause you don't want to talk about sex with me?

Chad: Ha! Do you want to talk about sex with me?

Ryan: Well, no, but... I usually don't talk about sex with straight guys.

Chad: Thank you for proving my point. Now, if we could move on, I think our night will be much, much more pleasant.

Ryan: After you tell me why you don't want to talk about sex with me.

Chad: All right, one would think this would be obvious, but fine. Perhaps it has something to do with how calm and cool and non-judgmental you are about the whole me-having-sex-with-a-woman thing.

Ryan: Huh? Chad, just because I don't have sex with women doesn't mean I go around condemning every guy who has, okay? It's not that different. I know what parts go where and all that. I know you've had sex before and I don't see the problem…

Chad: Do you hear yourself? You can't help it! This is why we don't talk about sex. It's actually the secret to our entire friendship.

Ryan: You've lost me somewhere around the word sex.

Chad: Well, ok. We are friends. Right?

Ryan: Yes.

Chad: So what is the secret to our long-lasting and angst-free friendship? What is the one thing that keeps it going year after year after year after year?

Ryan: We suck at meeting new people.

Chad: Wrong. We do not, under any circumstance, talk about sex, gay or otherwise. I may be having it with girls, you may be having it with guys, but we don't discuss it. That way we avoid the awkwardness, and in avoiding the awkwardness, we are able to maintain our friendship. You see, it's a preventative measure. I solved the problem before it even starts.

Ryan: But, Chad...if we're such good friends, why is there any awkwardness in the first place? Is it the gay thing? I never took you for homophobic.

Chad: I'm not and you know it! Damn, Ry… it's not the gay thing I don't want to think about, it's…

Ryan: Yeah? What? What's freaking you out so much?

Chad: It's the you-having-sex-with-anyone thing!

Ryan: What?

Chad: You heard me.

Ryan: Yeah, I did. I just don't get it. You have a problem with me having sex? So as far as you're concerned, I slept with nobody? Is that what you think of me? That I'm just saying I'm gay but not really doing it?

Chad: In my mind? Yes.

Ryan: Oh, so I never slept with Miguel when I was fifteen or with Derek or Andrew…

Chad: Oh, I told you, I don't want to hear about this.

Ryan: Ok, so basically what you're saying is that the only way you and I can continue being friends is if we lie to each other about our sex lives... if we take that whole giant aspect of our lives and just... pretend like it doesn't exist?

Chad: Worked for the last five years, didn't it?

Ryan: What is that supposed to mean?

Chad: It means, simply put, that you've never asked about my sex life before. It never occurred to you that… I mean, you obviously don't care who I sleep with. I could've had sex with that woman on the table right next to you, and you wouldn't have even batted an eyelash.

Ryan: Chad...you slept with women for years now, don't you think I know that? I really don't get why you think I should, as you put it yourself, bat an eyelash because of it. I know that you're not gay! And… wait! Is this because I once had a crush on you? Is this what we're talking about here? Chad?

Chad: Don't make me spell this out. Do you really not understand what I'm talking about?

Ryan: No. I don't. I really don't. I mean, do you? Because I'm a bit confused here. I mean... are you upset because...I'm upset? Are you upset that...I'm not upset? Are you upset that I'm not upset enough? I me—Chad, that was years ago! I moved on. Was I supposed to spend the rest of my life feeling miserable because I was crushing on a straight guy?

Chad: Ok. Well, you know what? Now that you brought it up, yes. A couple of months here, there, really wouldn't have hurt. I mean, I'm not asking for a lifetime of misery-induced celibacy but… just a couple of weeks. You really didn't have to jump the next-best guy you saw!

Ryan: Unbelievable! Chad! I can never win, can I? I guess I can't. It's kind of like taking my head and beating it up against a rock. I mean, when I told you after our summer at Lava Springs that I liked you like that you freaked out on me! You told me to move on! And I tried for the entire senior year to do just that and still be friends with you! And it wasn't easy, believe me! And when I finally managed to get over you, to become friends… everything's alright and now you freak out again?

Chad: No! I'm not freaking out! I… it's just that… you and me…

Ryan: There is no "you and me," Chad. We've moved on, and I'm sorry I didn't dash myself into a thousand pieces when you bashed all my hopes but you know what? Life goes on, no matter how ungratifying that may be for your male ego.

Chad: This is not about my ego.

Ryan: No? Really. Then what is it about? I mean, why would you want to go back there? Why would you want to go back down that long road that only ends with you and I arg—

Chad: I know where this road ends.

Ryan: Then what good can come of it? Tell me. I mean, why do you, all of a sudden, want to revisit... something that is better left...

[Ring]

Ryan: Well, are you gonna answer that, or are we gonna finish this?

Chad: We could live for a thousand years, and we would never finish this.

[HE answers the phone]

Chad: Hello? Well, yes. Obviously, we're still here. No, no. We don't have anyplace to go, now, do we? Well, yes, officer, I realize that we're probably fairly low on your priority list, but-- well, no, I wasn't aware of the freezing rain. I'm sure that does cause quite a few accidents. Ok. Well, we'll continue to sit tight here. If you could just send someone out as soon as possible, that'd be great. Thank you. You, too.

[He hangs up the phone.]

[Sighs] Chad over

* * *

**SCENE FIVE**

[Chad and Ryan are walking through the empty store. Ryan is off walking around and finds a bin full of CD's and begins rummaging through the CD's. Chad is off walking and goes into the electronics section of the store, and sees all of the TVs and then the video cameras and then gets a plan together. Ryan has now completely emptied the bin on the floor and is looking through the CD's and sees the soundtrack of "West Side Story" and realizes that there is a DVD of the musical he is supposed to read. He goes over to a rack of DVDs and begins looking for and eventually finds "Rent" on DVD.]

P.A.: Ryan Evans, you're needed in electronics. Ryan Evans to electronics, please.

[He makes his way over to the Electronics department and sees all of the TV's on and then sees Chad's face on all of them.]

Chad: Is this thing on? Ok, well...ahem. Hey...it's me... obviously. So if you could just step a little closer, and don't worry, I'm not gonna bite. I come in peace. Look...you and I... we're gonna be here for a while. For quite a while, it seems. So I think it would be best if we could come to some sort of truce. And to facilitate this truce, I'm willing to admit to you on camera that, yes, indeed, I am an ass, which you probably already know. Better than most people. And perhaps better than anyone on earth. But I digress. My proposal is this: That we leave the past in the past, which is where it belongs anyway, that we try and make the best out of this bad situation, and that we get comfortable. To wit--I bought you something. Well, I didn't really buy you something. Perhaps procured would be a better word, but...anyway, you get my point. It's down there on the counter. [He looks over and sees that Chad put a set of pajamas and slippers on the counter] I'm not so sure about the sizes, I just took a good guess, but... we can always exchange it. And, if you accept my proposal, you will have at your disposal for a limited time only the ability to make me do one thing I really do not want to do. Which is not to say that you don't always have that ability, but I kinda figure that that's how this whole night from hell started. You were doing something for me that you really didn't want to do... which is what friends are for. Ok. Over and out.

[Chad comes walking around the corner to join him]

Ryan: I know what I want.

[They begin walking down the aisles. Ryan is looking for something and Chad is trying to keep up with him]

Chad: Shouldn't you be getting into those comfy clothes I picked out for you?

Ryan: Later.

[He walks from aisle to aisle still looking]

Chad: Well, would you mind telling me where it is--

Ryan: Later.

[He finally finds the Razor aisle and stops]

Chad: You're kidding, right?

Ryan: You said "one thing," Chad.

Chad: I said "one thing that would help you." How does changing my physical appearance help you?

Ryan: Believe me, if I don't have to look at that thing on your face you call a beard anymore, I will consider myself helped. Here.

[Hands him the razors]

Chad: You're really gonna make me do this.

Ryan: Yeah.

Chad: Hmm. After all we've been through together. So this is what it comes down to, does it? Ok. [Sighs] But I want you to know one thing. I'm not gonna go down without a fight.

Ryan: Please.

[He begins running]

Ryan: Aah! Chad! Chad. Chad!

[He has lost sight of him and is looking around for him]

Ryan: Chad?

[Chad sneaks past the aisle behind him]

Ryan: Chad! You're only delaying the inevitable.

[Chad begins to cut through the lingerie section and runs into a rack]

Chad: Oh--

[Rattling]

Ryan: You know, you're only making it worse for yourself. Much worse. When I catch you, who knows what other body parts I'll require you to shave. Chad.

[Ryan stops in the Auto department and gets an idea. He knocks over a display, which catches Chad's attention.]

[Crash]

Ryan: Ow! I think I ran into an auto display case or something! Oh...h-help me. I think I'm bleeding.

[Chad stops and then slowly turns to makes sure he is alright.]

Ryan: Aisle 3-b! Bring band-aids!

Chad: [Sighs]

[The Auto Section. Chad comes looking around for Ryan, and he is carrying band aids, but he doesn't see him. He turns to look down an aisle, when Ryan comes up from behind him with a can of shaving cream in his hand pointed at him]

Ryan: I wouldn't make …

Chad: Ohh!

Ryan: …Any sudden movements if I were you.

Chad: You wouldn't dare.

Ryan: I would. I don't particularly like that suit you're wearing. How much did it cost, $5, $600?

[He begins backing him up]

Ryan: Move it. Uh-huh... back it up.

[They've gone back to the Bathroom. Chad is by the sink getting ready to shave when Ryan comes out of one of the stalls changed into the pajamas.]

[Hinges squeak loudly]

Ryan: Hey. I told you to wait for me.

Chad: I am.

Ryan: Ok. Go.

Chad: All right, this is your last chance to change your mind about this.

Ryan: Chad. It's a beard. It'll grow back. Not that it should. What's the big deal, anyway?

Chad: Well, you know how ballplayers don't change their socks during a winning streak?

Ryan: No.

Chad: Ok, well, they don't because they respect the streak.

Ryan: And you perceive yourself as being on some sort of winning streak.

Chad: Yes.

Ryan: Caused by that thing on your face.

Chad: Yes.

Ryan: Fine. I give up.

Chad: You give up? You're giving up that easily.

Ryan: Yeah. If it means that much to you, Chad. I mean, I have no desire to monkey with some centuries-old sports tradition. I wouldn't want you to lose the... triple crown or whatever. I just wanted to see your face again. Is that a crime?

Chad: No. So that's it... end of story. It's just that easy.

Ryan: Yeah. But you are gonna have to change your socks.

* * *

**SCENE SIX**

[Later in the store. Ryan and Chad are sitting on small chairs in the middle of one of the main Aisles playing a game of battleship.]

Chad: I said b-3.

Ryan: Ok, fine. You sunk my battleship. I officially suck at this game.

Chad: Well, we can't all be master strategists, now, can we? So, what's next? Operation? Risk? What do you want?

[He is just looking at him]

Chad: What?

Ryan: Can I ask you a question?

Chad: Yeah. Fire away.

Ryan: Are you happy?

Chad: Me?

Ryan: Yeah. I mean really happy, not superficially, we-all-have-our-health happy.

Chad: Mmm... yeah. I think I am. Which is weird, because it's not like there's anything all that spectacular going on in my life right now. It's just that... [Sighs] I don't know. I guess I feel different. Like...I've always had this tendency to assume that change, when it happens, can only be for the worse. You know? And lately, I kinda feel like that's not true... like whatever's waiting for me out there... may not be that bad. And even if it is... even if everyone's gonna laugh at me and point fingers... it might actually be worth it. Mmm...I don't know. [Chuckles] I don't know that I'm making any sense.

Ryan: It sounds like what you're tryin' to say is… that you're finally ready to be surprised by your future.

Chad: Yeah. Something like that. Or… well, maybe I'm willing to risk it to get what I want.

Ryan: And that would be… what exactly?

[The restaurant section of the store. Chad is behind the counters filling a large tray of Nachos with Cheese, and Ryan just looks at him shaking his head and drinking a soda.]

Ryan: Nachos? Please tell me you're really not gonna eat that.

Chad: Well, you nixed my whole build- your-own-sundae idea.

Ryan: Well, yeah, it's a little too cold for ice cream.

Chad: It is never too cold for ice cream.

Ryan: Chad, why do you always seem to be eating during key moments of our relationship?

Chad: I don't know. Is this a key moment in our relationship?

Ryan: Well, it would've been if you would've let me get rid of that thing in your face.

Chad: Is this what you consider letting it die?

Ryan: What? We've already established that the theme for the evening is picking at old scabs.

[He hands him his glass]

Ryan: Can I have more, please? Less ice this time.

Chad: Less ice. You know… can I get you anything else? A little cotton candy?

Ryan: Uhh! Gross.

Chad: You want a pretzel?

Ryan: No. I think those were probably made when I was a virgin.

Chad: Oh, yeah. The good old days. But you're right. We should stop. We don't want to fill up on starches before we go raid the candy aisle.

Ryan: Chad, we can't eat candy this late at night. We'll rot our teeth.

Chad: So then we'll brush them. And if we're feelin' crazy, we can floss. 'Cause you see, that's the great thing about bein' locked in a Kmart. You can do anything in a Kmart. You can fill up on sugary snacks. You can catch up on your dental hygiene. In fact, I'm startin' to like this idea so much, I may never leave.

Ryan: Oh, my god. I have an idea. Come on. Wait. Bring popcorn.

[The Electronics Department. Ryan and Chad are sitting in front of one of the projection screen TVs watching "Rent" which happens to be playing on all of the TVs in the department. They are drinking soda and eating popcorn, as the movie finishes.]

[Both chuckle]

Chad: So now that you've made me see it for the sixth time, am I supposed to like it even more now?

Ryan: You never liked it in the first place, Chad. You were adamant in your refusal to play a part in it in the first year at U of A. Sharpay bitched about it for months!

Chad: Just because I didn't want to be part of it doesn't mean I don't like it. My refusal expanded to all drama class activities, not just "Rent". I simply don't do theater!

Ryan: Right, just like you don't dance or sing or…

Chad: Oh, shut up already! Come on. Let's go.

Ryan: Why?

Chad: 'Cause I'm gettin' bored with all this sittin' around. Let's do somethin' active.

Ryan: No.

Chad: No? It's my turn to choose, isn't it?

Ryan: We've discussed this already. There will be no basketball, no skateboarding, and no you shooting hockey pucks at my head.

Chad: Oh, now, come on. Those weren't real hockey pucks. Those were little plastic indoor ones.

Ryan: Chad, I think the goal of the evening should be to avoid head injuries.

Chad: [Sighs] Ok, fine. I still got somethin' for us to do.

[Elsewhere in the store. Ryan is pushing Chad down an aisle as he is sitting in a desk chair on wheels.]

Ryan: I promise you this is not going to hurt.

Chad: Now, how could you possibly make a promise like that about what it is we're about to do, seeing as you've never done it before?

[They pull up to a table with Shaving cream, razors and a bowl of water on it. ]

Ryan: What do you mean I've never done it? Just because I've never grown a beard doesn't mean I don't have to shave every other day! I mean, you've noticed that I'm a guy just like you, right? Anyway...you know, if you're so worried about potential blood loss, you could always do it yourself, you know.

Chad: Well, I think I've already displayed the fact that I just-- I lack the iron will necessary to do this.

Ryan: Good. Ok. Now... the important thing to remember is not to move. And no talking.

[He takes a towel and puts it around his neck. Leans his head back and grabs a pair of scissors.]

Chad: Whooh.

Ryan: Last chance to bail.

Chad: Well, it's kinda hard to tell you I want to bail if I'm not allowed to talk, isn't it?

Ryan: Oh. Well, blink twice or something.

Chad: That's no kind of solution. That presupposes that I'm gonna stop blinking. Who stops blinking? Really, that's—

Ryan: Ok. Shut up.

[He begins to cut his goatee with the scissors]

[Later he turns him around and grabs two cans of shaving cream from the table.

Ryan: Regular... or menthol?

Chad: Are we smoking, or are we shaving?

Ryan: Chad Danforth-- I think it's better to go with sensitive skin.

[He begins to daintily put some on him]

Ryan: Ok...

Chad: Mmm... it's ok. Don't be shy.

[He begins putting it all over his face]

Chad: Mmm. [Chuckles]

Ryan: Ok...

Chad: [Chuckles]

[He grabs the razor and heads towards his face.]

Chad: Ahem.

Ryan: Ok. This is harder than shaving my own face. Although not dissimilar…

[He slides down his chin and accidentally nicks him]

Chad: Mhhh!

Ryan: To shaving Shar's legs. Sorry.

[He kisses his finger and then taps the cut]

Chad: [Chuckles]

[Ryan finishes shaving and hands Chad a towel to clean away the remains of shaving cream.]

Ryan: There. Hello, chin. You're back.

Chad: [Chuckles] Well...I was never really gone.

Ryan: You weren't?

Chad: Mm-mmm.

Ryan: It kinda seemed like it.

[They look deeply into one another's eyes, and then Chad leans over and kisses Ryan]

* * *

**SCENE SEVEN**

[The same location as before. Chad and Ryan are still kissing, and Chad pulls slowly back, and Ryan is just looking at him a little shocked, but was definitely enjoying it.]

Ryan: [Sighs] What was that?

Chad: I don't know. But... remember how I said I was willing to risk something… and to be surprised by the future?

Ryan: Yeah.

Chad: Surprise.

Ryan: How come you don't seemed surprised?

Chad: Well...maybe because I've... wanted to kiss you ever since I saw you in that outfit.

[He looks down at the pajamas he is wearing]

Chad: No. Um... not that outfit. The one... uh...the prev-- well, I mean, not—

Ryan: Wait, wait, wait.

Chad: [Clears throat]

Ryan: You were wanting to kiss me all night?

Chad: Yes.

Ryan: Even when you were yelling at me.

Chad: [Chuckles] Especially when I was yelling at you.

Ryan: Even when you were flirting with that girl?

Chad: Yeah. Then, too.

Ryan: So... is this... some sort of... recent new development in your life? I mean… Chad, since when are you gay? Or… is it just me or… well, how new is this?

Chad: Wanting to kiss you?

Ryan: Yeah, that.

Chad: Not new, no. It's sort of always been there... like...white noise, or... the secret service or the threat of nuclear war, for that matter. Just somethin' you get used to.

Ryan: And that... doesn't at all freak you out.

Chad: Well, yes and no.

Ryan: Which one, Chad?

Chad: Hmm. Yes.

Ryan: Explain.

Chad: I don't know that I can.

Ryan: Try.

Chad: Ok. Well... It would be fair to say that… I don't think I'm gay, Ry.

Ryan: You're not.

Chad: No. You're definitely the only guy I've thought about kissing.

Ryan: Oh. So… it's just me.

Chad: Just you. And… I haven't been feeling all that friendly towards you lately.

Ryan: You've been feeling more than friendly.

Chad: Yes.

Ryan: And the only way you could express that was to pick a fight with me.

Chad: I suppose the answer to that would...also be yes.

Ryan: Why is that, exactly?

Chad: I do not know.

Ryan: You must know something.

Chad: [Sighs] What I know is that... of all the friendships I've had over the years you and I were one of the few things, perhaps the only thing... that ever made total and complete sense in my life. That's what I know.

Ryan: You remember what I said earlier? About finally being over you?

Chad: Yes, and I'm…

Ryan: We fought constantly when we were in High School.

Chad: Oh, don't I know it.

Ryan: And there are reasons why you and I wouldn't work. I mean, valid reasons. A-and...it... my life is finally—

Chad: Right where you want it. I know. And I'm totally sorry for the bad timing. It's crazy, isn't it?

Ryan: Chad, I don't know what to say. Um... I'm flattered. I'm... confused. I'm stunned.

Chad: Are you wishing I hadn't said anything?

Ryan: No. I just need to... can I just sleep on this?

Chad: Yeah. I think that can be arranged.

* * *

**SCENE EIGHT**

[In the Outdoors department of the store. Chad and Ryan are lying down in one of the displays. Ryan is lying in a Sleeping bag, and Chad is lying on top of another one, just staring up at the ceiling]

Ryan: Hey, Chad, did you—

Chad: Put all the stuff back? Yeah. Though some of it we're gonna have to pay for, like the clothes.

Ryan: [Sighs] Chad, did you—

Chad: If the next words out of your mouth are "take out the trash," I will officially have a preview of what it'd be like to live with you.

Ryan: And?

Chad: It ain't pretty. [Chuckles]

Ryan: I was going to say... is... did you know?

Chad: Did I know what?

Ryan: This was a dream come true?

Chad: Which part?

Ryan: All of it.

[They roll to look at one another]

Ryan: You know, in senior year, when I… you know… when you and I became friends... I used to dream that we'd be cast away somewhere. You know, your... standard tropical island with the white sand beaches and... giant stars overhead. We'd wear no clothes, and we'd...splash in the surf all day. And then at night... the moon would be this... well, this giant thing. And it was always full.

Chad: I like this fantasy. I'd catch fish with my bare hands... and you'd make fire without matches.

Ryan: You'd make the fires.

[He looks over at him weirdly]

Ryan: Who dated the science queen in High School? Something must have rubbed off on you from Taylor.

Chad: Ok. Good point.

Ryan: Besides... it's my fantasy. And I guess I... never told you about it before because it's... [Chuckling] Embarrassing. You know? I mean... not at all original.

Chad: Well, I guess you were right about one thing.

Ryan: What's that?

Chad: There are about a thousand reasons why you and I would never work.

Ryan: There's one thing in the pro column.

Chad: What's that?

[He gets out of his sleeping bag and goes over to join Chad. Then he leans in and kisses Chad again.]

Ryan: Doesn't mean what you think it means.

Chad: Well, then what does it mean?

Ryan: Well... it means that... well, I'm cold.

Chad: Oh.

[He pulls the covers over him]

Ryan: And... I'm still thinking about it... and I missed you, Chad.

Chad: I missed you, too.

[They kiss some more and then Ryan curls up next to him to go to sleep, and Chad pulls him close to him and tries to drift off himself]

* * *

**SCENE NINE**

[The next morning. The lights are now on in the store, and Chad wakes up and Ryan is curled up in his arms.]

Chad: [Yawns]

Employee: Dude... this is totally... uncool.

[He looks up to see the employee from the night before standing over them]

Chad: Um... Ryan? Ahem!

Ryan: 5 more minutes.

Chad: No, no. No. I think now would be a good time.

Ryan: Why?

[He rolls over and sees the employee and quickly gets up]

Employee: Like...I mean... you're allowed... to, like, test things... and stuff... but the manager is gonna be... like, his mind is gonna be blown.

Chad: This--no need to call the manager, 'cause, you know, we were just about to leave.

[Chad jumps up to stop him and gathers their things up]

Employee: Hey.

Ryan: Hey.

Employee: So, is this... like, your boyfriend?

Ryan: No. We just sleep together from time to time. Do you have a problem with that?

[Ryan walks past him, and the employee turns to Chad with a scandalous look on his face.]

* * *

**SCENE TEN**

[The Cash Registers. A clerk is ringing up the items that Ryan and Chad have brought up, not realizing that they were in the store the entire night.]

Chad: So, this is it.

Ryan: Yes, it is.

Clerk: There were no security tags on these?

Ryan: Oh. No. You should probably look into that.

[He hands the DVD from last night to the clerk]

Ryan: And this.

Clerk: A DVD that's... opened.

[Chad hands her the open pack of razors]

Chad: Oh. And, uh... this, too.

Clerk: And a razor that's...opened.

Chad: [Sighs]

Clerk: Ok, and your total is 98.15.

Chad: I can pay you back later, dude.

Ryan: I got it. Seems a small price to pay for a dream come true.

Clerk: I certainly hope you found everything you were looking for today.

Chad: Well...not everything, but we found what we needed, which, as I'm sure you know, is sometimes just as important. In a spiritual sense. 'Cause, you know, if you found everything that you were looking for today, what would be the point of waking up tomorrow and doing it all over again? It just wouldn't seem worth it.

Ryan: Don't worry. He's on a one-day pass from the asylum. But...in all fairness, I should let you know that I will be writing a letter to the home office about this.

Clerk: You will?

Ryan: Yeah. Because this store... is perfect just the way it is. Don't change a thing.

[The clerk hands him the bag, and he grabs the other one]

Ryan: Thank you.

Clerk: You're welcome.

[They turn to leave the store.]

Chad: Home?

Ryan: Home. You know, you could offer to carry one of these things.

Chad: Sure.

Ryan: And you are letting me drive. Right?

Chad: Drive? My car? Ha ha! Do I appear to have lost consciousness? Because that's the only circumstances under which you would be driving my car.

Ryan: Hey, I know perfectly well how to drive!

Chad: Sure thing, Evans. I guess that's why Sharpay was always the one driving you guys in High School, right?

Ryan: You know that Shar would never let herself be seen in my car. But that doesn't mean I didn't have one then!

Chad: Well, what was it?

Ryan: Huh?

Chad: Your car, Ry! What type did you have?

Ryan: Ugh… I don't know. It was silver… and… a convertible I guess.

Chad: Silver? Really… great type, Evans.

Ryan: Oh, shut up Danforth!

Chad: You see, that's why you're not driving my car anytime soon.

[Ryan playfully shoves Chad, and Chad shoves back and then throws his free arm over Ryan's shoulder. Ryan smiles at Chad and puts his arm around Chad's waist and they leave the K-mart.]

**THE END**

**I've never written something like this before (dialogue-only), so please tell me what you think.  
**


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